An Oath to Her
by N. Forest
Summary: Lily calls Severus to her house. He visits her son and makes an oath he may later come to greatly regret.


**Disclaimer: **JKR owns everything. Unlike me.

_Dear Readers,_

_The idea of Snape swearing an oath to protect Harry seems to be a very familiar theme in fan fiction. But I've never been able to find a fic that describes Snape swearing the oath with Lily. This is my version of Snape and Lily._

_Thank you for taking the time to read._

_Nicole Forest._

An Oath to Her

"Severus."

"Lily."

Snape felt odd and out of place here, in Lily's room. It was Godric's Hollow after all, and even if James Potter was out for the day his things were scattered all around the house. Brooms and Quidditch books, dirty clothes that were much to big for Lily.

Lily reached out a hand out towards her old friend. "I forgive you Severus." She blinked and looked away, trying not to cry.

"I'm sorry Lily. I've always been sorry." Severus told her, taking a seat on the edge of the bed. "I should have listened to you. Should have cared." He took her offered hand into his own and caressed it gently. "I never thought – Potter of all people." He gave her a tight smile. "Does he make you happy Lily? Do you love him?"

"Of course Sev." Lily moved closer to him and leaned against his shoulder. "He's kind and caring. And wonderful with Harry. James isn't perfect, but I love him." Her green eyes shone with happiness at her thoughts of James.

Severus's smile disappeared. He didn't like thinking about Potter and Black and the Defence O.W.L. "I didn't come here to talk about Potter." He said angrily. "I came here for you Lily. Not for him. I wouldn't do anything for him."

Lily nodded. "After everything, there's no blame on you. He wronged you and he's not going to take it back." She smiled. "Even he hasn't grown up that much."

It took all Severus's willpower to keep himself from growling angrily at Lily. But he'd already fought with her once and he didn't want to repeat it. "What do you need my help with? Your letter said the child needs help." He studied her for a moment. "Have you had another vision?"

Lily had only ever confided in a few people about her visions. She couldn't control them and the information they gave her could be far in the future, or the next day. Severus had been the first person she'd told and they always tried to work out her visions together.

"Yes. And Severus," Lily tightened her grip on his hand. "I'm going to die. And so is James. Within the next three years. I saw something, our son, still a baby, in the ruins of our house. And I saw our bodies." Tears did come to her eyes now and Severus wiped them away. "I want your help Severus."

Snape nodded. "Anything." He bit his lip, a habit he'd picked up from Lily when they were growing up. "I really will do anything Lily. Anything for you, for Harry."

With a flick of her wand, Lily summoned a piece of parchment from the study down the hall. "James chose Harry's godparents. Alice Longbottom and Sirius Black. I chose him a second set, just in case. With the war and everything going wrong it seemed like a good idea." She handed Severus the birth certificate. "What do you think?"

_Name: Harry James Potter_

_Date of Birth: July 31st 1980_

_Mother: Lily Potter (nee Evans)_

_Father: James Potter_

_Godmother: Alice Longbottom and Minerva McGonagall_

_Godfather: Sirius Black and Severus Snape_

"I'm honoured." Severus whispered, and he was. Four godparents wasn't anything new, plenty of wizards and witches were given four at birth. It was slightly excessive, but he could see Lily's charms on the paper. His name and McGonagall's would be invisible until the primary godparents couldn't be trusted with their duties. If they died or were put in jail, he'd become a Potter's godfather.

Lily smiled sadly. "I wish it didn't have to be this way Severus. I love you and James. But you made the wrong choices, with Malfoy and Avery." She flicked her wand again and sent the parchment back to the study she shared with James.

Snape bowed his head and breathed in deeply, the smell of Lily's hair was still amazing. "Was that all you wanted?" He asked. He didn't like being in the house, but at the same time he wanted to get into bed next to Lily and never leave.

"No." Lily picked up her wand again. "I want you to swear an unbreakable vow. A vow to protect Harry for me. And to love him as if he were your own."

Snape took her hand. "I will swear to anything you ask Lily." He wanted dearly to help her, but at the same time thoughts of his oaths to Dumbledore as a spy and to the Dark Lord as a Death Eater weighed heavily in his mind.

Lily placed the tip of her wand on their joined hands and bit her lip. Usually an Unbreakable vow required a third party to be the bonder, but one of the two bonders was supposed to be able to cast the spell.

"Severus, will you watch over my son Harry as he grows and lives?" Lily's eyes began to fill with tears as she thought of dying and leaving her son behind.

"I will." Snape tightened his grip around Lily's hand.

"And Severus, will you protect Harry and care for him should he ever be in danger?" Lily asked him.

"I will." Severus waited for Lily to relax her hand before letting go and letting his hand drift back to his side. "I'm so sorry Lily. I wish I could stop this all."

Lily didn't say anything. She just let him hug her and she let herself relax in his arms. "Thank you Severus." She whispered into his shoulder.

"May I see him?" Snape asked. After all, he'd just sworn his life to protect a child he'd never met. "I want to meet him."

"Of course." Lily climbed out of bed. She slid her feet into slippers and pulled a dressing gown on over her night clothes. "Come with me."

Severus followed Lily down the hall. The house was nice enough. The walls had all be painted and wallpapered neatly. And the furniture was well made and looked good in the house. _At least James is taking care of her. I couldn't provide for her this well. My salary barely supports me now._

"In here." Lily opened a pale blue door. There was a carved plaque on the wall. _Harry's Room, _was written on it in beautiful calligraphy letters.

Severus stepped into the room and crossed to the crib in the corner. Harry Potter was snuggled securely in his bed. His blanket decorated with snitches and broomsticks was tangled around his little hands. "Hello." Severus whispered.

Harry rolled over and opened his eyes, looking straight up at Severus. His green eyes penetrated deep into Severus's soul and he forgot about the hair and face that looked so like James. The only thing that mattered was Lily's eyes. Lily's eyes that would live as along as her son did. Eyes that he'd sworn to protect.

"I have to leave." Severus said. The situation wasn't comfortable any more. He didn't want to think about Lily dying or her son going into Black's care. He wanted to take Lily and Harry with him and watch over them forever.

"I love you Severus." Lily whispered as she heard the door slam downstairs. "Thank you." Then she crossed the room to feed and comfort her crying child. She would leave him soon and there wasn't anything she could do.

***********

James didn't know he was going to die. Lily could almost sense that her time had come that night and she spent time with James and Harry. After all, it was their last night as a family. And she hadn't told anyone but Severus. If James had known he was going to die there would have been no peace in the house.

There was no changing the future. Lily knew that they were suppose to die. And they had no choice. She didn't want to die but at the same time she couldn't imagine a better time. Surrounded by loved ones, happy and caring. She would shed no more tears over her own short life. It was better to die smiling and laughing than weeping. _Be strong. _She urged herself. _There is no shame is saving the world and the ones you love._

Lily wasn't religious, but she dearly hoped that there was something other than nothingness after she died. She wanted to see Harry again and Severus. Maybe spend more time with Severus. Choose him instead of James.

*************

It was in the Daily Prophet. Snape paid the owl that brought the paper and saw it on the front page. Lily was dead and so was James. Harry Potter had defeated the Dark Lord. And he'd known it was going to happen. All that was left to see was where Harry was placed. The Longbottoms had a son his age.

Snape read his paper over again, more carefully. It didn't say where Harry was going. Everyone was so happy that the Dark Lord was gone that they didn't seem to care that their saviour was only fifteen months old and had just lost his mother and father.

There was another paper that afternoon. An update on the situation. Snape read it immediately, classes had been cancelled for the day and he hadn't been busy. Quite a few of the Slytherins had gone home. With parents who'd openly supported the Dark Lord or taken his mark there wasn't much time left before the adults ended up in Azkaban.

The headlines surprised him. Severus had never seen Black at a meeting and he'd never suspected that he would betray his best friend. Black might have hated Severus with all his heart, but he loved James more. The two of them against each other? It just wasn't done. And that took one godparent off the list. Black was getting life in Azkaban. Killing twelve muggles, Peter Pettigrew.

And the Longbottoms had been tortured. Severus frowned, that was both of Harry's primary godparents out of the running. Alice was in St. Mungo's now and there hadn't been much luck in healing her. Severus had seen what the Cruciatus curse could do to people, especially when it was used by Bellatrix LeStrange. She'd left another war orphan.

Snape threw the Daily Prophet into the fireplace. He didn't want to think about any of the deaths on both sides or the sometimes friends of his that were getting Azkaban for life. He didn't want to think about Lily dying either, it was too painful.

The only thought that helped was the image of a boy. A baby boy with bright green eyes that spoke to his soul just like Lily's had. He could claim Harry as his own now. Raise him properly like Lily had wanted. But everything was a mess.

There would be Slytherin to worry about. A torn house, damaged by the war and the sudden end to it. And he still had classes to teach. Hopefully Dumbledore would be able to take care of any legal matters, make sure that they knew he was a spy, not a Death Eater.

Severus filled a tumbler with fire whiskey. He wanted to stop thinking about all his problems. About Lily. Even her son wasn't something he wanted to think about. Harry Potter was a shadow of his mother, he didn't have her red hair or her smile, and her spark of life and personality was missing. It hurt him and the whiskey made it stop.

He knew then that there was no way he'd be able to take in Harry Potter. The boy was a hero and he was a Death Eater spy. And seeing Lily's eyes everyday. . . It would be torture. Dumbledore could bring him to the castle. McGonagall could look after him and Snape would help when he could. When he wasn't as raw from Lily's death. After he'd had time to heal. He'd watch him occasionally and make sure that the vow knew he was caring for Harry, but he couldn't deal with a son, not now.

**********

He looked nothing like her. Snape sneered down at his first year class. Harry Potter was sitting with a Weasley. And he looked just like his father. The walk, the hair, he even wore the same style of glasses that James had favoured.

Lily was dead and gone. Severus knew it, the boy was nothing like his mother. He'd probably grown up pampered like James Potter had. Treated like a prince and never taught the compassion and caring that Lily had valued so highly.

Severus told himself not to care, to ignore the boy's eyes. But when he called his name and Harry looked up, the eyes still hit him. Lily was in the boy, her eyes alive and shinning with life. Life that Lily herself would never know again.

There was only one way Severus could think of dealing with his thoughts. He got mad, he insulted Harry and he hurt him. Maybe one day he'd find Harry and tell him the truth. Say he cared for him and that if Harry wanted or needed a home, Severus had a room for him. Let him know who his true godfather was. But it never happened. Severus let him leave and he didn't look back. Laughing and talking with Weasley. James was all Snape saw.


End file.
